Mother's Day.

Today is the day that I thank God for letting me be a Mom. Motherhood is the single thing I have done that I am the proudest of. How blessed am I to have gotten to give birth to and raise two of the most amazing grown up people I know? Why did God see fit to be so extravagant in His blessings toward me with those two little people who called me Mommy? How blessed am I that my children are alive for me to talk to whenever I want?

This weekend I've thought of two women I know who have experienced the unfathomable grief of loosing a daughter to death.

One is a woman who is experiencing her first Mother's Day without her first-born. My childhood friend passed away last November. This week when I was buying card for my mother and mother-in-law, I picked one up for her. I cried at the thought of her pain this Sunday. I prayed she'd feel a little loved through that card. Then there are my friend's two kids she left behind at the ages of 18 and 20. No mom to wish a Happy Mother's Day to.

The other woman is a friend who lost her (only child) daughter (age 20) in a car accident four years ago. Every time I talk to her on the phone (which is not often enough) she talks about her beloved daughter. When would you ever stop being someone's Mom?

Then there is the family I know who are likely celebrating their last Mother's Day with their very sick mom.

So this Mother's Day please join me in praying for those who will find this to be a painful day. Give them an extra hug. You gotta know they are so very aware of the hole in their hearts.

Be sensitive. Be compassionate.

Psalm 13

I have been praying earnestly, even desperately for something for more than a year. Last week I came across this Psalm and it speaks my heart:

How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever?
   How long will you hide Your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
   and every day have sorrow in my heart?
   How long will my enemy triumph over me?

 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
   Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
   and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

 But I trust in Your unfailing love;
   my heart rejoices in Your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,
   for He has been good to me. 

When my heart is crying "How long, O Lord?", I try to remind myself of the last couple of verses:

But I trust in Your unfailing love;
   my heart rejoices in Your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,
   for He has been good to me. 

A Man of Integrity

 I am thankful for my son-in-law.

He is God's answer the prayers I prayed for our daughter Megan's future husband throughout their childhoods. I prayed he would know the Lord personally. I prayed for a happy childhood. I prayed that he would have integrity. (I don't know if I used that exact word, but it is certainly what I desired.) God so graciously and mercifully answered those prayers in Zach.

My daughter posted this video on her FB wall today that is a tribute to the coach Zach played football under when he was in high school. This man had a big role in molding Zach into the man he is today. I believe God used this man to answer those prayers of mine. Watch the video. You'll be in tears by the end. It's 10 minutes well spent.

An Army in the Flood and Fire

 We got one of those phone calls yesterday evening that makes it hard to be so far from our family. Our son called to say he was heading to the hospital with his wife. She had been vomiting quite severely and they just knew something wasn't right. Turns out she has a not-very-serious (but serious enough to be admitted to the hospital) infection in her blood (sepsis). She's been getting antibiotics and is doing much better. She has an Army praying for her. (I'd appreciate prayers from my Internet friends, too!)

Our son is a music junkie. He says he turned on his iTunes this afternoon to random and this is the first song that played:



(It is basically the 23rd Psalm.)

His comment on his Facebook page was "Random song, huh God?"

God is so awesome in His tender care of His people.

This verse came to mind:

When you pass through the waters,
   I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
   they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
   you will not be burned;
   the flames will not set you ablaze. 

Isaiah 43:2

Hopefully our daughter-in-law will be able to go home tomorrow morning.

Sticks and Stones

I came across this saying in a book I have been reading:

Sticks and stones may break my bones, words destroy the heart and spirit.

That struck something in me.

I experienced some incredibly hurtful words spoken to me a few months ago. Satan has tried to use them to destroy my heart and spirit. I know the words were spoken in the midst of great stress and personal pain, but I think maybe those are the times when we need to guard our words the most. When you are hurting is when it's easier to say hurtful things. Words are powerful. I almost wish the person would have thrown a rock at me. In time, that wound would have healed and probably not left a scar.

Proverbs 15:4 says:

The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

Recovering from hurtful words is very difficult. Healing from being crushed takes a long time. Those words, only five words, have affected how I look at all my relationships.

I realized yesterday that when I don't look at myself through my Father's eyes, I don't see what He sees. I don't trust His lavish love for me. I don't trust His plan for my life. It affects my relationship with Him.

I struggle with this with my husband too. I don't trust what he sees in me and how he loves me and why he loves me. It affects our relationship.

 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

1 John 3:1a

I have been praying to see and feel that lavish love of God's. I know He showed it through Jesus and what Jesus did for my sins. I have asked God to show me in my everyday life.

I came across this quote in an article I was reading. (I don't remember who wrote it so I can give them credit.)

God can heal wounds and turn them into "holy scars" that declare God's grace, mercy and purposes. 

I look forward to the day that I can look at this scar left by five words, and only see God's grace, His mercy and His purpose.

Update:

We saw my mom this morning a 6am before she went into surgery. We left shortly after that to head down to Kansas to see the kids. Pete is taking Megan to the sight of her PCAT (Pharmacy College Admissions Test) tomorrow.

About 10am we got a call from my dad saying that the surgery was done and Mom had come through fine. They did a triple by-pass (complete with taking artery from her leg) but the heart valve the doctor thought was damaged didn't need any repair. That was good news.

I talked to my sister a bit ago and mom is recovering in ICU and not listening to orders to not talk very much. :) Thank you to all of you for praying!

Psalm 73:26

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Praying for my mom and her major heart surgery today. Will you join me?

Prayer

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

Jehovah-Jireh, You are my provider. If I didn’t have problems, my focus would grow inward. I thank You, by faith, for the trials of this life because they draw me to You and remind me that this Earth is not my home.

I Read The End Of The Book. I Know Who Wins.

Sometimes I can get discouraged with the state of this world. There are times when listening to the news or reading the paper where it seems as though The Evil One is getting a foothold here.

Then God Almighty brings to mind some amazing scriptures:

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9

Even though it may seem that there is so much new evil in the world that verse in Ecclesiastes says there is nothing new under the sun.

Nothing surprises God. Ever.

Corrie Ten Boom said, "With God there are no problems, only plans."

If I start feeling overwhelmed with this world I remind myself that I have read the end of The Book. I know Who Wins.

When I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they sang: "Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!"
Revelation 5:11-12

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:1-4

"Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. Revelation 22:12-13

A couple of months ago we saw Chris Tomlin in concert. I was really touched by the following song, "I Will Rise." I pray you sense the Hope that we who are in Christ have.

National Day of Prayer

I just got back from a National Day of Prayer service in my town. It was very moving. As I heard the many voices praying to God, I kept thinking of this verse:

2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.