Some Things I Want to Remember

There have been some moments over the last three weeks, that I want to remember.

God has shown His tender mercies in so many ways.

The first weekend after my mom's stroke, my son and his wife made the five hour trip to see his grandma and grandpa. And, he said, fifty percent of the reason they came was for me. Those hugs from my boy in those first few days were exactly what I needed.

There have been a number of family friends that have made a special trip just to see my mom and dad. Some of these people I have known since I was a baby. Some came into my parents' lives later on and are faithful friends. I heard from more than one person that my dad has asked them along the way, "What are you going to do with Jesus?" and they said their life would have been so different if not for that. They talked about the sweet hospitality of my parents. One friend talked about how my parents invited him and a friend for Bible study and they stayed to play with us four kids. (He ended up being the photographer at my wedding and my sisters' weddings.)

My nephew and his family came from North Carolina to see his grandma. (And later his siblings came as well.) My nephew's little girl, who is three years old, was told they were going to the hospital to see Grandma and she asked if Grandpa was going to be there because  "They belong together, they're a match". Sweetest thing out of the mouth of a toddler.

The first weekend of Mom's hospitalization, my daughter was in Ohio vising a college friend. She flew back to Kansas City on that Tuesday and then hopped in her car and drove to Iowa to see her grandma and grandpa (and me).

I will never forget the moments between Megan and her grandma. My Mom gave a vocal exclamation when she saw her baby granddaughter and I saw tears in my mom's eyes. Megan sat down in a chair next to Grandma with her journal and her Bible. While on the plane, Megan had looked up some scriptures to read to her grandma.

I snapped a couple of pictures with my phone

Megan and I sang "Jesus Loves Me" together.

Those moments.... I felt like I was on Holy Ground. Amazing. That girl of mine is something else. So proud of her and what God has done in her life.

The next day, I was leaning over Mom and talking to her and she reached up with her left hand and brushed my bangs out of my face. Tender moment.

I had thought that I would be able to read as I sat in my mom's room, but I couldn't concentrate enough and the activity in the room was crazy. Always someone coming in to check something, or the IV machine beeping or visitors. So I tended to play games on my phone. Lots and lots of Solitaire and Angry Birds and Words With Friends and Scrabble. One afternoon I was thinking that I am thankful for my smart phone. Then I made this list of things I was thankful for and posted on my Facebook:

Thankful for:
**My daughter (who is in her last year of pharmacy school)
**My daughter-in-law (first year resident doctor)
**My son and his prayers, sense of humor and music suggestions
**My husband whose name is Peter and it my rock (Peter means rock)
**My dad's love for my mom
**The hospital people who are kind to my mom
**Seeing a high school classmate who works in this hospital and getting some hugs and a

    sympathetic ear
**My parents' friends who have come to the hospital to visit
**A smartphone to distract me
**Jesus Christ and His everlasting and ever-sustaining love and strength
**My mom (and dad's) love for Christ

I have also been amazed at the number of cards my parents have gotten from friends and family. Dad reads them to Mom every day. I even received a card this week from Hubby's aunt saying that they are thinking of me and praying for my family. So sweet.

I realize this is a little disjointed, but I just wanted to record these things so I can remember God's tender mercies in this time.

A Normal Hodgepodge

Let's throw some little bit normal on this blog and join in with the Hodgepodge!

1. What's one thing that's still the same about you as when you were young?

Besides the fact that I still have those two sisters and one brother, I still have that lovely cowlick. (I'm front center.)

2. What's more important-history or science? Why?
History. We need to remember where we came from in order to move on and grow.

3. Lima, kidney, string, garbanzo, black or pinto-your favorite bean?
 String Beans fresh from the garden.

4. What's something people come to your town to do?
 Hubby has been told that people from smaller towns and farms around here come to this town to retire since it is the biggest town in 50 miles. (And let's just say right here that having lots of retired people here does wonders for the traffic flow in town. Speed limit signs mean something like don't drive anywhere close to the speed listed here. The slower the better.)
I don't know what people would come here to do. There's not much to do here. (No movie theater, not many restaurants, pathetic shopping.)  There is a string of lakes, so I would guess the main thing would be boating or fishing or ice fishing. (Hubby and I don't do any of those things.) I wouldn't stick my big toe in any of those lakes, the water looks nasty.

5. When was the last time you were in a meeting? Sum it up for us in five words or less.
Advocating for my mom.
(With the doctor's nurse practitioner along with my dad, sister and brother-in-law.)
(Other than that, as a stay-at-home-wife, I don't have meetings to attend.)

6. What special event would you like a VIP pass to attend?
I thought and thought about this all day.  I can't think of a concert I'd really like to go to. Hubby is a big fan of Kansas City Royals baseball. I think it would be cool to be able to have tickets that would have us sit in a fancy box thing. (They do that for baseball, right?) I think Hubby would like that.

7. What's one piece of advice you'd give a writer?
Don't use too many fluffy and flowery words.

8.  Insert your own random thought here.
My daughter and her husband have been in Thailand for the last two weeks. We'll see them this coming weekend and I can't wait to hear about their adventures!

But can I say that when I saw this on Daughter's Facebook I freaked out a little? 

That's my son-in-law rock climbing. Yikes! There some things I don't want to know about ahead of time. I heard my daughter telling someone they wanted to do some rock climbing while they were in Thailand. I think it would have been better for me to hear about this after the fact. I have spent several nights praying for their safety.
(Right after my daughter graduated from high school she went on a trip to Costa Rico with the Spanish Club. I cannot say how glad I was when she told me after she got home that she had done a zip-line over the rain forest. I was so glad I didn't know that was an option before she left.

(My Protective Mom Instinct doesn't fade with time and I don't apologize for it.)

A Small Quilt

Last summer we made a road trip out to North Carolina. One stop along the way was to visit some very dear friends from our college days.

As we were enjoying the evening, I took note of the decor and when I next visited a quilt shop (I hunt them out wherever I am...there should be an app for that), I picked up these fabrics:

I had seen a sweet table runner in a quilt shop near me and snapped a photo (shhhh...don't tell) and recreated a smaller version for our dear friends.

It was so fun to package this up and mail it to our friends.

The friends' name is a college nickname...

When I Left Home It Was Still Summer

When I left home almost two weeks ago to be with my dad at the hospital, it was summer here. The temperatures were warm and the soybeans in the field next to our house were still green with just a hint of brown. Ten days later, the temperatures were cool and the field is brown and close to harvest. Now it's Fall.

Mom continues to be in the hospital two weeks after her stroke, but last week was moved to a rehabilitation floor in the hospital. She is getting more therapy (physical, occupational and speech), which will hopefully let her be able to do some things for herself. My sister says she sees some significant changes in Mom. I have a hard time seeing that. But I haven't seen her since she's been having more intense therapy, so maybe I will see those changes when I next see her. Mom has a long road ahead of her. And to make things more difficult, she's also dealing with Congestive Heart Failure. It is so hard for me to see her like this. She seems to understand a lot of things, but cannot communicate.(I grieve that I will not be able to have a conversation with my mom again.) She recognizes family and friends and the (half) smile she gives is a gift to see. Everyone in my family has been to visit (except two grandsons-in-law). It's heartbreaking to see each one of us realize that our mom and grandma will never be the same.

After I spent six days with my dad and mom, I went to Iowa City to meet a friend for a few days. (We had planned this at the beginning of the month.) (We first met about 25 years ago. She and her husband are missionaries in Budapest, so we don't see each other very often.)

We rented a hotel room that had two bedrooms and two baths and a living room/kitchen area. It was such a nice arrangement and we enjoyed a couple of days of girl stuff: sleeping in, talking, eating out, talking, shopping, talking, watching TV, talking. Well, you get the idea.  And I even threw in some bonus tours (I lived in Iowa City from age 4 to age 11) of my childhood neighborhood (we even visited with some neighbors that still live there) and other highlights like: the pool where I got the scar on my forehead, where I went to elementary school, the church we attended, where my dad used to work, blah, blah, blah.

I had originally planned on coming back home last Wednesday, but I decided to stay in Iowa City an extra day. I enjoyed a day all by myself (an introvert's dream) and spent it wandering around Hobby Lobby, getting a pedicure and finding a funky place for lunch.

I stopped to see my mom for a few more hours on Thursday before I finally headed back north for home. It's been good to sleep in my own bed and wash the summer clothes I had in my suitcase. Time to get out the fall clothes.

A Long Week

I just said to Hubby, "I should write a blog post, but I don't even know where to start."

I've been with my dad every day since Tuesday at the hospital with my mom. Some days are better than others.

Today, Mom was very tired all day and not very responsive. I got a couple of weak smiles from her and a good night kiss.

I'll just leave this post like that. I'll write more about the week later. Mostly so I can remember.

One more thing. I'll copy and paste what I wrote on my Facebook page tonight:

Another day at the hospital sitting with my mom and my dad.(I count it a privilege.) Pete is here, too. Mom was very tired today and seemed to sleep through most of the day. She was not very responsive to speech therapy or physical therapy. My dad and Pete had the Iowa State/Iowa game on TV and occasionally Mom would look at the TV. At the end of the day I read Psalm 139 to her. When I finished reading, she opened her eyes and looked at me. Dad said that was a "thank you." Before we told her goodnight, the three of us sang "How Great Thou Art" to her. I told Mom I never would have known I could sing if she hadn't encouraged me to sign up for choir in 7th grade.

(Well, now Hubby's name is out there. Grin.)

Exhausted

Hubby and I came back home last night. I wanted to sleep in my own bed, but I seem to be too exhausted to actually sleep, if that is even possible.

Update on my Mom:

Mom had a stroke that affected the left side of her brain and therefore has paralyzed the right side of her body and taken her speech away. She recognizes friends and family,and we get greeted with a lopsided smile. She lights up and puckers up for a kiss when my dad comes near. Those two truly love each other. I took this picture Saturday evening  before Mom was moved out of the ICU.

Such love. Sixty-plus years worth of love. Such an amazing privilege to have this marriage as an example. 

Mom is really struggling with so many things, I can't list them and besides it freaks me out a little to do so.

Over the weekend we all spent time with Mom alternated with all hanging out in the waiting room, either crying or calling or texting family and friends with updates or telling stories or talking about what insects are on our acceptable list or the tolerable list. (Gotta cope somehow, right?) Both of my sisters and brothers-in-law were there along with my brother and sister-in-law. One of my nieces came and my son and daughter-in-law. I think it was so good for us all to be together.

My son said that they came fifty percent for Grandpa and Grandma and fifty percent for me. They were such a gift to me. My son gives the best hugs and his sense of humor and way of noticing odd things was much needed. My daughter-in-law is a doctor and was so very sweet to answer our bazillion questions and draw pictures of the brain and the heart and explain how everything works.

A few of us sang Amazing Grace to Mom. We all cried on the verse that says:

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

My dad is wiped out. I haven't seen him cry too many times in my life. Over the weekend he broke down many, many times. So very hard to see.

My daughter is going to see her grandma tomorrow. I will drive back to Iowa to be with her and see my dad and my mom again. I think that waiting until tomorrow to see my daughter is too long, but I guess I have to wait. I am so anxious to see her.

Last summer I made a quilt for my mom. I took it from their house on Sunday and gave it to Mom and told her that a quilt is love and she can have it there at the hospital and know that I love her. She pulled at the quilt and looked me in the eye and tried to say something. I heard some noises, but no words.

Here's a picture I took of Mom last summer with the quilt:

I know this post may not make very much sense.  I am really hurting and it's hard to put coherent thoughts together.

Over the weekend the words to the hymn Jesus I am Resting, Resting kept going through my mind. Especially this verse:

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart,
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets, supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings,
Thine is love indeed.
Jesus I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art.
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

I cannot even count the number of times I have called out Jesus' name in my prayers and in my agony.

Mom

Last night Hubby and I were watching an episode of Monk when my phone rang.  It was my sister. I had an awful feeling what she was going to say. 

Our mom had a stroke.

Mom has been having problems with her heart not being in the correct rhythm for the last month or so.  Thursday she was to have a procedure that would shock her heart back into correct rhythm. An ultrasound of her heart was done in preparation for the procedure and a blood clot was found in her heart. So they canceled the procedure to be done at a later  time after a blood thinner had time to work.  Last night at 6:25 my dad says Mom just stopped being responsive. He called 911.

Hubby and I threw stuff in suitcases and started the three hour drive to where my parents live. We were in the ICU by 11:30.
Mom smiled when we came into the room. Just half a smile though because the right side of her face is droopy. She has no speech, but was able to lift her left leg a bit.

We sat with her for a few hours. Now I am supposed to be sleeping but am finding it difficult to relax.

So blogging it is.

A couple of my memory verses are rolling through my head:

Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Isaiah 41:13
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,  Do not fear; I will help you.

Hanging on to His hand.

Condensing

Last weekend I started cutting out my next quilt. It's all laid out on my sewing table waiting for me to start putting it together.

Then all of a sudden I got the bug to sort through the bazillion quilting magazines and books that I have accumulated over the years. Now that I have gotten into the quilting groove, I know more about what types of quilts I will make and what methods I prefer to use.

In the picture below there are six magazine holders. I threw out probably the equivalent of five of these full. I ended up with a stack of eight or ten magazines, then went through those and tore out the one or two patterns that I really liked. Those went in a binder. I kept six magazines.

My next task was to sort through all the books that I had. While it felt a little wrong to toss those, at the same time, it felt good to weed those out and get rid of the excess. Like I said, I know what types of quilts I am likely to make, and some of those books did not fall into that category.

Then when I thought I was all done with all the magazines, I discovered another stash of a dozen or so magazines. I sure hope I remember all this the next time I am standing in front of a magazine rack! Good thing there is Pinterest. My quilting board on Pinterest has 244 pins. That doesn't take up near as much room!

As I was thinking about writing this post, I remembered some other condensing I did a while back.

I have always had a goal of making a denim quilt out of old jeans. I raised one little boy. That little boy managed to wear a hole in the knees of his jeans. I would cut off the bottom parts of the jeans and convert them into shorts.

I saved those jean legs:::

These are from jeans my son had when he was about two years old!

I loved the tiny flecks of color in the ones on the left and the boat on the jean on the right were so cute!

So how did I condense? I cut the seams off of those pant legs and cut apart the grown up jeans I had kept over the years as well.

As I was thinking about doing this huge task, I thought about how much my hand would hurt with all the cutting. Then I remembered my mom had some electric scissors she bought at a garage sale back in the 70s, so I asked her if I could borrow them. (Good thing I asked when I did because they were in a pile bound for a garage sale...)

It went a lot faster with those electric scissors!

But soon they got pretty dull, and the motor just quit.

So I bought a new electric scissor. This one worked SO much better.

And no cord to mess with!

After I was all done, I had condensed that pile of jeans my more than half!


Now to figure out more storage for all that fabric I keep buying.... :-/

And to actually make that denim quilt! Someday...someday...

New Corn

Just a little fluff here today:::

A few weeks ago my daughter told me about a way they had eaten corn on the cob. I think I may have found a replacement for the standard butter and salt.

(...and if we don't use butter, then no more debate on how to get the butter on the corn cob...roll on the stick of butter or use a knife to daintily spread the butter...)

We had a little pile of red pepper flakes and a quarter of a lime. We dipped the lime into the pepper flakes and then smeared the whole thing over the corn cob. It was VERY good! We love spicy food and this was just perfect. We both ended up adding a little bit of salt on the corn.