I Don't Think the Bird has the Advantage

I've been thinking about the saying, "The early bird gets the worm." I am doubting that it really works that way. It certainly doesn't for me.

Not that I'm looking for worms or anything.

I have yet to see the advantage of getting up early. The other morning I was up by 5:30. (oh-dark-30) Just couldn't sleep any more. Now any of you who know me, will find that VERY strange... I love my sleep more than the next person, especially to sleep-in in the morning. So since I was up, I decided to get a jump start on the laundry and maybe have it done before noon. So I tossed a load in. Not until after the whole load was done, after I had taken a nap because I was tired after getting up so early, did I realize that I never put any soap in the washing machine! So I had to run the whole load again. I think I was done with laundry that day by 3 pm.

So much for getting things done early.

Does the early bird really get the worm? Or is she so foggy-brained that she forgets what she doing out there hopping along the grass and stops for a nap? I can't even begin to count how many times I have forgotten to tell my kids something important before they go off to school. It's inevitable that about 10am I remember everything, but it's too late since the kids have been in school for 2 1/2 hours. 10am is the magic hour for me. My brain finally clears and I'm ready to conquer the day, unless of course I've gotten up too early and have to take a nap before lunch...

Whew! This is making me sleepy.

My Son

What a thrill is has been to watch my boy grow into a man. Sometimes I still have a hard time grasping that the young man I now reach up to kiss his whiskered face, is my sweet little blond-haired boy with the high voice, my buddy, the one who I started to learn how to be a mother with. Before Caleb was born, I thought I only wanted girls and was afraid that if I had a boy, I would be disappointed. It wasn't until a few days after he was born that it dawned on me that he wasn't a girl...and I wasn't the least bit disappointed. He won my heart from the beginning. He was/is a great buddy. I had so much fun watching him grow, learn to walk, talk and love Jesus. His very first Bible verse he memorized at age 2 1/2 was Hebrews 13:6, "The Lord is my Helper, I will not be afraid." There is just something so endearing about a sweet little 2 year saying "The Ward is my Helpo I will not be afwaid". That verse has ministered to me more than I could have imagined over the years. Like my daughter, Caleb says that he has on his facebook that "It's not a religion, it's a personal relationship with Jesus Christ." Praise God, he understands what being a Christian is about! When he was turning 13, his dad and I were trying to think of what to give him. We remembered him talking about one of the youth leaders at our church letting him play around on the guitar some. He talked about it a lot and seemed excited about it, so we decided to buy him a guitar. Was that ever God-led! Just recently we were able to witness him using his gift of an amazing guitar player. He is the lead guitar player on the worship teams in college for both Navigators and at his church. That made this mother's heart swell with pride and praise God. It's been fun to see him thriving in college life. He is growing leaps and bounds spiritually. Praise God! He is so talented when it comes to writing. I love to read his stuff, because it almost always has a bit of "Caleb Humor" tucked into it. He'll make a great newspaper reporter! I am thrilled at how he loves and adores his sister. They are so cute together. I love how he wants to protect her. I love how Megan has a specific voice and vocabulary only for her brother and he has sweet nicknames for only her. Caleb has had some real struggles with growing into the man God wants him to be, but he's turning to the Word and and is on the right path! I will not leave out my most favoristest part of my son -- his sense of humor! He can make me laugh like no other and he laughs at my weird humor like no other!

So which is my favorite picture of him? This one:

So grown-up and handsome!

OR this one:What a goof!!

So hard to choose! I love you, Caleb and can't wait to see where God is leading you.

Living in the flesh really stinks

Oh how I relate to Paul's words in Romans 7:15 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Verse 21: "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me..."

I know that is somewhat of a mind twister to sort out. But I feel like so many times I want to do good, I know how to do good, but that evil, sinful nature is right there and I choose to do what I hate. And worst of all, the the process, make stupid, stupid choices that hurts those around me or cause those around me to compromise their convictions so they won't offend me. How dare I put them in that position. That truly grieves me and I am sorry and beg their forgiveness.

I want to live in grace. And praise God that He is a God of second chances and third chances and sixteen-bazillion chances!! He again says through Paul:
"...my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest in me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

After I quit kicking myself I will work on, for Christ's sake, delighting in my weaknesses. And then I will:
forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead, and press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

Well, I got a little more self-kicking to do and then work on asking God for His power in my life and start pressing on towards the goal. Thanks to those of you in my life who love me and care for me despite my shortcomings. I hope I am as gracious to you.

"Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Philippians 4:8

Personal Defintions Are Allowed

Dork

Here's my definition:

One who is nerdy, and not in a bad way. A goof and fun to joke around with. Someone who is just slightly off kilter enough that it makes them fun and adorable.

So there. I am allowed to make up my own definitions to words.
:P

Lawrence

The weekend is Lawrence was great. It's always fun to go there. Lawrence is a pretty town. It sort of amazes me when I think of how many times I have been there since 1983 when Peter took me here for the first time. We had just been engaged a few months. He was so excited to show me the town he grew up in. Well, grew up to the age of 15.

We spent a lot of time with Caleb. It was great to see him in his campus life. Here he is helping lead worship at Navigators: What a joy to see!

But more on Caleb in another post.

We hung out Wednesday night at a Christian coffee shop/bookstore. Could be a dangerous combination! Caleb and I looked over the Bibles. I have a need for one with a bit larger print. Yay aging. Caleb was looking at different translations he has heard that other people have. In the background of all this was some live music going on. A jam session with a little James Taylor, John Denver. You get the type of music.

Oh college towns. Nothing quite like them!

Megan enjoyed her college visit with KU. She thought maybe one of her criteria for choosing a college should be the wind. It was windy in Kansas Thursday and Friday. And boy when it is windy in Kansas you feel like you might loose your head! She spent Thursday night in a dorm with one of Caleb's friends from Navs. Friday was a day to hang out with brother on campus. They had a great time together.

No visit to Lawrence would be complete without a visit with:

Aunt MaryLyn & Uncle Russ! They are 76 and 86 and are two of my favorite people in the world. It's always fun to catch up on the extended family And MaryLyn always fixes yummy food. It's enjoyable to sit and chat and watch her knit. She always has a project going. Uncle Russ loves to talk church. If people get too chatty he has the advantage of turning down his hearing aides! Too funny. One of MaryLyn's friends stopped in for a visit on Friday. Leta (who just turned 80!) talked about one of the Bible studies she was leading and her struggle to find out a way to engage and teach a group of elderly people who can't see well enough to read any more. She truly desires to keep God's word alive. It was refreshing.

Give Me Words to Speak

Calloused and bruised
Dazed and confused
My spirit is left wanting something more
My selfish hopes, my selfish dreams
I'm lying with my face down on the floor
Crying out for more, crying out for more

So give me words to speak
Don't let my spirit sleep
'Cause I can't think of anything worth saying
But I know that I owe You my life
So give me words to speak
Don't let my spirit sleep

Every night, every day
I find that I have nothing I can say
So I stand here in silence waiting Your guidance
I'm wanting only Your voice to be heard
Let 'em be Your words, let 'em be Your words.
-Aaron Shust

I feel that when I open my mouth I don't say the things I mean to say especially when I use my own strength. Aaron Shust sure knows how to put into words what I mean from the heart. I am so sorry when I say things that hurt the ones I love. I want these words to be my prayer. My selfish hopes and my selfish dreams get just in the way. All that really matters is that I owe Jesus my life. Give me words to speak.

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above the heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

***Enough of the sober stuff. Time to move on to dancing to my iPod in the hotel room. :) Some Travis Cottrell "In the Sanctuary" is just the ticket. Psalm 134: We lift our hands in the sanctuary. We will praise you for the rest of our days. Yes, Lord, for the rest of our days! Excuse me for a few minutes....***

Whew!! That felt good! Just be glad no one was here 'cept me and God and it was only meant for Him anyway... :) Music is a great gift from the Lord.

More on our weekend in Lawrence later...

Sleep

So why is it that the one morning in the last week it would have been okay to wake up early, I sleep until my alarm instead of waking up at 4 or 5am like I have been doing? Frustrating. We are headed to Kansas today to visit Caleb at KU! Megan is going to do a college visit to see of that's where she wants to go to college. And we get to visit two of my favorite people, Pete's aunt and uncle. Should be a fun weekend! Now if we could just shorten the 8 hour drive.... Maybe I can sleep in the car. Maybe I'm smokin' something. :o)

I'm Free!

For the last 26 days I have been wearing a heart monitor. Today I mailed it back to the hospital and no longer have to wear it! Now I just pray that the doctor has the info he needs to make a diagnosis about my arrhythmia. Next appointment is Nov. 9. I'm just happy to not have to stick on the electrodes everyday and feel wired up!! Woohoo!

My Daughter

This picture is of my wonderful daughter, Megan. What a blessing she has been in my life from the moment she was born. I was so thrilled when I heard, "It's a Girl!" Good thing she was since we had only picked out a girl's name... This picture shows her exuberance for life. I love it! We were vacationing in Montana and driving towards Yellowstone when she and her big brother exclaimed that there was a meadow and they NEEDED to frolic in it. What goofy kids. I so admire her. (And not just cuz she's a size 4.) She is beautiful inside and out. She has a love for life -- as you can see from the picture. Most importantly she has a great love for Jesus. She told me she has written on her facebook under religion, "It's not a religion, it's a personal relationship with Jesus Christ." She's got it. I love how she loves to learn about the Word of God. She WANTS to go to church and to youth group and WANTS to be challenged. She loves little children and does a great job of taking care of them. They adore her. She puts her whole heart into her school work. One of the most amazing things about her is how she loves to help roof houses. Our church has a ministry of roofing in the summer months. Megan is always there to volunteer and gets up on the roof and works all day. I so admire her willingness to serve others like that. I love her laugh. Did I mention how talented she is? She loves to play the piano and does it with such passion. I will miss hearing her play when she leaves home. And oh her voice. She can sing!!! Sometimes when she is in the basement playing the piano and singing along I stand at the top of the stairs and listen with joy in my heart. We recently watched some old home movies. Oh my. How did my sweet little 4 year old singing a song from preschool turn into this beautiful young lady? Only by the grace of a merciful God. Thank you for the blessing of Megan, Lord. I cannot wait to see what You have in store for her.

Light

If there is one thing I am learning in life as a Christian, it is that often God gives us just enough light for the step I'm on.

Trust.

Why do I lack it when God has yet to fail me? I pray as I move on in my life I remember God's faithfulness to me and my loved ones face difficult times. It seems the more difficult thing is waiting on God's timing. But his timing is always perfect. Just think how we'd mess things up if we rushed ahead. I am so guilty of wanting to do that.

Just Enough Light
Sometimes only the step I'm on,
or the very next one ahead,
is all that is illuminated for me.
God gives just the amount of light I need
for the exact moment I need it.
At those times I walk in surrender to faith,
unable to see the future
and not fully comprehending the past.
And because it is God who has given me
what light I have,
I know I must reject the fear and
doubt that threaten to overtake me.
I must determine to be content where
I am, and allow God to get me where
I need to go.
I walk forward,
one step at a time,
fully trusting that
the light God sheds
is absolutely sufficient.

-Stormie Omartian