When The Music Stopped Part One

Late one night two years ago this week, I received a phone call from my sister telling me the news that our mom had suffered a heart attack. What a scary phone call that was! We rushed to the hospital the next morning to see my mom in the ICU. She was so serious she had someone sitting at the foot of her bed through the night. I remember talking with her, reading a Psalm to her, telling her about a recent vacation (we were coming home from the vacation when we got the call).

As I was sorting through some old emails recently I came across one from my dad that had an article he had written attached to it. He had written this article about four months after that phone call from my sister. I asked him for permission to post his article here. I think the thought process of a spouse watched his beloved of 57 years struggle for her life is priceless. Maybe it will help a reader.

A little background:

Mom's heart attack resulted in Triple By-Pass surgery. The surgery turned out to be the easy part compared to several serious complications afterwards.

Here is Part One of my dad's article:

When the Music Stops

Do you remember the game musical chairs that we played as kids?  That’s where the chairs are all lined up in two rows, back to back with one less chair than the number of players.  The kids circle the chairs very cautiously because when the music stops everyone is to sit down in a chair.  And one person is always left out. In the next round, another chair is removed, until there is only one chair and two people.  One obviously got left out.  

It’s a game of losing, not winning.

As a kid we had to deal with the emotions of no chair, getting left out to stand by the wall and watch the others circle the chairs.

Maybe the game prepared us for being a grown-up because we can all think of times when the music stops—we are left out, left alone, we lost the game. 

I’ll guess that most everyone here has had some time in their life when the music stopped.  Maybe it was an illness that came on suddenly, a financial problem, a divorce you didn’t want.  Was it compassionate friends who think you should be “over” your loss now, or an envious liar who spread false rumors about you?  Or is it fears for the future or some misery from the past.  Is these days of economic distress and time pressures we all know those who are searching for work or some sort of security the world offers, yet keep coming up short. 

My wife and I have found quite a bit of consolation in the Psalms as we’ve been dealing with her heart attack and subsequent serious complications. 

I suggest that the Psalms are full of helps for us when the music stops.  There are a lot of images in the Psalms -- powerful, descriptive, suggestive images. Listen.

"My God is a strong rock.” “In the shadow of his rock I will rest." "In the shelter of His wings I will take refuge."

The images abound. God is seen as a safe harbor -- a shepherd's arms -- our life is one in which we pass through the valley of the shadow of death -- and we walk by still waters and rest in green pastures. The images are on every page. 

The Psalmist had visions and plans that often were often frustrated by his enemies to such an extent that David fears for his life.  These days our enemies are not usually people trying to harm us physically.  We might consider that they are those we experienced when the music stopped for us. 

I must confess that there were days and nights when the music stopped—repeated issues of pulmonary edema, kidney failure, constipation, then at 6:30 PM on October 28 watching her stop breathing, hearing the call for code blue, then seeing the pulse reading go from 53 to 35 to nothing… for a full four minutes. 

Would I be single again?  No one to share my life with!  Would there be brain damage?  I felt numb.  Was there a God?  How could I encourage my wife, when I was so empty?  Why not just crank up some happy thoughts like a Christian ought to do?

I was afraid.  I trusted God, I thought, but I was afraid.  I thought a Christian should not be afraid.  What is God up to? 

I'll continue this over the next two days.... stay tuned.