Authentic

I was talking with a friend a few weeks ago about blogging. She is a friend IRL (In Real Life) and a fellow blogger.

We were pondering how authentic to be on our blogs. I read some bloggers that have a real gift for writing about struggles without giving minute details. My friend and I agreed "that airing dirty laundry" is not in good taste. On the other hand, to only write about how everything is totally great isn't ideal either. It gives the impression that we have fairy tale lives. Which is obviously not true.

One of my goals in my life is to be an authentic Christian and an authentic person. Kind of the same thing, I guess, since the person I am is a Christian.

On that note....

Last week was a tough week. I had a doctor's appointment. I really don't like going to the doctor for the yearly check-up. I managed to put it off for six months, and kind of got chewed out by the doctor for that. The check-up is disagreeable for obvious reasons. But I think I dislike more the list of things that I seem to not be doing right: from exercising to taking vitamins. Then there's the tests and the wait for the results. I manage to get through it, but it comes back to me every year. I just find it all very discouraging. The same goes for dentist appointments. Nope I don't floss. I only brush my teeth once a day. (But I did switch to an electric toothbrush! Good news!)

Then there was the a hard conversation I had with a loved one. It was a productive conversation. But, like my doctor appointments, I felt discouraged. It was good to get thoughts out and things did end well with hugs and I love you's. But it was hard and kind of yucky.

I guess sometimes I'd like a pat on the back saying that I did a good job. I will try to make that my goal for my next yearly exam. To change my actions so there is an improvement and an acknowledgment of that. Oh to not hear "do you think you can do better?" I heard that growing up a lot and it was more discouraging to me than motivating. Yes, one can probably always do better, but is it so bad to want a pat on the back for what one has accomplished?

I came across the following video by Nicole Nordeman. These words say it for me:

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an "Atta boy" or "Atta girl"
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
the temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy