Been thinking on this whole letting-go-of-my-kids-thing.
Some days I feel like I got fired from a job I loved and even got decent performance reviews. But at the same time I really understand how this is all a process and that God is working through it.
I have exchanged some emails with a sweet friend of mine. She talked about how mothers start letting go of their children from the time of birth.
That made me remember how much I missed feeling my babies move inside me after they were born. I SO LOVED feeling the wiggles, kicks and hiccups. Then they were born, and I was never to feel that again.
But it was a good thing that they were born.
That was part of God's plan. And it is good. And I got to experience the wonderfulness of the baby. They snuggles, giggles, laughs, smiles and not to mention all those "firsts" in their little lives. So, if I had kept that baby inside me so I could feel it move, I would have missed out on SO much.
I understand how my kids growing up and leaving home and someday marrying is part of God's good plan. Like the thought of keeping that baby inside me, if my kids don't leave home, I would miss out on the wonderfulness that they are and who God is growing them into being.
The process is painful, like giving birth, but it is necessary.
Oh so necessary.
If the baby was never born, that would not be healthy. If my kids don't launch into the world and I try to keep them tied to me physically, emotionally or financially, that is not healthy and would keep them from becoming the people that God intends for them to be.
(Some of the following are inspired by my sweet friend and new mommy, Rachel.)
I see my purpose right now as trying to give them a good start -- just like when they were conceived and then born into my arms. My children are a gift entrusted to me by God. Their dad and I have a part in their existence, but God gave them spirit and life. They are ultimately God's -- just as we all are.
My kids will follow God, leave us and do things that scare us, worry us, hurt us, and confuse us. But they are God's kids and they have to follow His path for them.
So while this process sucks sometimes right now, I want for them to be adults who serve God with their whole hearts and are WHOLLY devoted to their spouse and children. An unhealthy connection to me or their dad would so totally hinder that.
(Thanks Rachel for the thought and inspiration. I hope this makes some sense.)
5 comments:
I keep telling you that all these problems have a pretty easy solution…. (have an other baby)….. But no one ever takes me seriously.
There is a quite a big flaw in your theory. At some point I still have to let go whatever babies I have. Having another baby will just prolong the pain of the process. Besides I keep telling YOU that your mom said I could adopt you. How come you haven't let me do that? Huh? Huh?
Thanks for the post Judy. It helped me feel better about my security as a parent.
See - I did a no-no this weekend on our trip and read a Jodi Picoult book. Not that there is anything wrong with what she writes - and in fact, she can be educational in what teens are doing/going through. She's a good writer.
But I told myself I wouldn't read that genre of book anymore. They cause me to fear. And fear is not what my Father in Heaven is looking for me to have.
So I am giving back my fear and my children into His hands. Where my kids belong in the first place. And trusting that He will give me the tools to teach them and guide them in His will, not mine.
Ah - feel much better now. Thank you for being used. :)
Oh Susan you are welcome! I wrote that to just get my thoughts organized about this process, but am thankful God used it to help someone. :)
Judy, sorry it's taken me so long to read your post! I almost had to look in your archives since this one is so old. Between caring for the kid and our computers being bad, I haven't been online much. So here I am now.
Thanks for the post. I think it's great. Save it and give back to me in eighteen years! The first night home with Titus I cried because it was difficult to place him in his crib, located twenty feet from our bed. In the hospital he slept about two feet away from me.
Zach is like the typical male with his quick-fix for a problem that is much more complicated. (That is not a blow to the "typical male", I actually have quite a high view of the "typical male".) !
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